“These Nights are Darker”
Poem by Sameer Khan
It seems like every night when we start feeling depressed, spending a lot of time crying and thinking about all the bad things in the world and in our lives. During the day, especially in the morning, most of us feel pretty normal though. It’s only at night that we start to feel bad. we do have some problems in my life, but we all handle them pretty well most of the time. This poem is a depiction of one of those nights when we are fighting that feeling alone.
I pick up broken
and fallen pieces of mine,
Floating on tears, dipped in pity.
This water is toxic.
But! Aren’t these my own tears?
Did these sharp edged broken pieces of mine
injure my skin and infect my tears while pouring down?
I’m tired, so tired.
Of keeping myself awake every night.
Anxiety has consumed all over me.
I’m bleeding but it isn’t visible.
I’m in pain but it’s just in my mind, yet it feels so real.
I’m scratching my skin, yet I’m sitting in a dark corner of my room,
without any moving any of my limbs, with silence encroaching my nerves.
But, I’m determined that I will survive.
And a question haunts me.
Why? Why this pain?
When I can save people,
Why can’t I save myself?
Why can’t anyone else save me?
I want to cry, but I’m not able to cry.
People love me, but I can’t even sense it a bit.
I feel numb.
I survive every night, without holding any torch of hope.
It’s just murk all over, in all the four directions.
This darkness is even consuming my breath, my air.
I’m holding on, to this darkness.
Maybe, that’s what they call endurance.
Cause I survive these storms every night, hoping for a faint light to shine.
It’s? just that, it feels like forever.