How Borderline Personality Disorder feels like?

In a world where people are divided by thoughts of black and white, does grey in the world even exist? A simple question many of us might ask to ourselves and even spend hours wondering about it.

Let me help you explain it by a story.

There lived a boy who always used to sit alone on the rock spending hours feeling lonely and smoking cigarettes.

By every smoke he exhales, the endless thoughts pull him deeper into the sea of regretful past. 

He stares at those cuts scars on his wrist he self-harmed a day before because of his assumptions about his friends are not giving him the respect he deserves.

He always covers himself with the insecurities that he is not a priority to anyone, is unimportant to everybody,  and everyone will push him away, leaving him, alone and lonely.

He always desired to have a hold on everything and everyone, but he fails. Not once, not twice but every time. He easily trusts everyone who walks into his life and then in the next moment insecurities drove him into those lanes where he starts to doubt every moment he had spent so far.

Most of the situations he dealt in life was because he wore the glasses that made him see things with the perspective of black and white.  He always wished to scream set me free, but he also craved for someone to hold him tight.

He had always been tagged as oversensitive, overreactive, tough to handle, directionless.

but all he was trying to do was controlling his flow of emotions, his reactions were not in his hands, his emotions were flowing uncontrollably he couldn’t able to understand where to react and where to not, this used to get him too tired because of feeling such intense emotions in all the situations.

Do you feel the above-mentioned situations seem relatable? Would you want to replace ‘him with ‘I’, or this depiction fits well with a friend of yours? 

If the answer is yes! The person you thought of while reading the above is dealing with Borderline Personality Disorder. 

A problem that many of us face but never talk about.

An individual with BPD might have these symptoms:

  1. Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment.
  2. Unstable and intense interpersonal relationships.
  3. Lack of a a clear sense of identity.
  4. Impulsiveness in potentially self-damaging behaviours, such as substance abuse, sex, shoplifting, reckless driving, binge eating.
  5. Recurrent suicidal threats or gestures, or self-mutilating behaviours.
  6. Severe mood shifts and extreme reactivity to situational stresses.
  7. Chronic feelings of emptiness.
  8. Frequent and inappropriate displays of anger.
  9. Transient, stress-related feelings of unreality or paranoia.