As we move through this technology-dictated era, we have progressed in all spheres of life. However, when we see the dating realm, we find that somehow this progression might have been all for naught. Dating has become less organic and more a matter of algorithms and numbers. When were numbers ever relevant in love? So why are they now?
We have apps after apps with specially designed software to help us meet our soul mate. Like someone? Just swipe right! It has become as easy as that. We have endless choices at the tip of our finger. Yet why is it that concepts like cat fishing and ghosting have become just common verbs in our language? Maybe it’s time to stop and think, how we might have stepped down a notch in the dating game, merely because we’d rather sit in our pyjamas and scroll our screens than go out to a social outing. Here’s why we should consider reverting to the old times:
- The Cute-Meet:
Remember the last time you looked across a crowded room and smiled at an absolute stranger? No? Ever wondered why? This is the first difference that we can see from the old-school dating to the new technology-based dating. There are no opportunities for a meet-cute. All those romantic fantasies you have been reading about since you were a kid- all gone to waste, and all because it’s more comfortable to chat on our smart phones instead of talking face-to-face. We have unknowingly entered a paradox reality: where we want someone to love us, but we’re afraid to get too close; and if we really dissect this problem, we find that we don’t trust the person on the other side of the line as much as we trust a person sitting across from us. So maybe, it would be nice to revisit that time when conversations were more than just flickering white screens.
- Cat fishing and Ghosting:
Cat fishing is one of the concepts of dating these days which means to impersonate someone else. Ghosting on the other hand involves having all communications cut off out of the blue without any indication of the same. These are just two of the many concepts that have become part of common dating parlance these days. The question we must answer is whether there is a need for these concepts in the dating scenario. Dating used to be hard, now it has become downright traumatic! How can one fall in love if one cannot even trust the person they are talking to? With such practices becoming more of a norm than an exception, dating has actually become a gamble with more losses than wins.
There are many a fish in the sea, but with the new online dating, this is less a sea and more an ocean; and somewhere along the line we forgot about the word ‘compromise’. Every relationship is based on a little understanding, but somehow we have lost that patience to understand the person in front of us. A mild discord gets aggravated to the point where compromise is not an option and why would it, when there’s another person waiting at the click of our fingers. This has brewed an unnecessary insensitivity amongst us as a generation that we look down upon people with minor flaws and do not hesitate to block them off our contact lists. Earlier, we were required to talk out the problems which in turn only strengthened the relationship further. How can one expect to find love if we don’t even have the patience to get to know the other person?
- Unrealistic Relationship Goals:
With everything being posted online in a matter of seconds, dating someone now is less about the person and more about making a statement online. This has resulted in unrealistic dating goals- failure to meet which not only would result in losing your paramour but also you stand at the risk of being the eye of the social media whirlpool. From lavish prom date proposals to expensive first dates, the list is never-ending. It’s time that we treat dates as dates and not a contest and start focusing on the person before us rather than try to meet these unrealistic relationship goals.
- Romance at Stake:
There is no doubt about this that we as children of this tech-phase have become crude in our language which shows in our dating scenario quite blatantly. Not only are we running around, too busy to focus on anything at all, but we have forgotten what it meant to woo a person. Now, dating is more of a calculated decision than the chance to shower your partner with affection. Romance was never meant to be a hit-it-and-quit-it game, and maybe we should reconsider the need for it in our present lifestyles.
Trust has never taken so many blows in the old days, but with the privacy and the secrecy that online dating provides, one can never be sure of their own partners. Besides, what’s appalling in this scene is that philandering is more of a status symbol than something we look down upon, and the ‘friend with benefits’ deal has done nothing to reduce this pressure. What’s sad is that we don’t even flinch away from this reality anymore, but no matter how much we make our peace with it, the truth remains that we deserve better than this.
Phones were meant to be an accessory and not a replacement for our loved ones, yet somewhere along the line we have forgotten that to love is to give love and not to put them to a test with unrealistic expectations. Sure, one cannot say that techno-dating is all bad, but the question remains: Is it really worth it?